Indian - American Fusion Wedding
“Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite.”
May 17 – Mehndi & Sangeet, Deewan Banquet Hall
May 18 – Hindu Wedding & Reception, Mirage Banquet Hall
May 19 – Rehearsal Dinner, The Continental
May 20 – Wedding Extravaganza, One Atlantic
All photographs by Jessica Erb Photography
Years ago, I went home one night and told my parents I had fallen in love with a man of a different culture than my own. I remember being nervous about how they would react and so grateful when they said they were happy for me and couldn’t wait to have him over for Christmas Eve dinner. Many Christmases and Diwalis later, that man would ask me to marry him and our life’s journey together would officially begin.
As we combined two cultures into one love story, we realized that producing a wedding to measure up to the dreams we had for our special day(s) and the expectations of our families was not going to be a simple undertaking. I learned a lot through the process, making me a better planner, and I am sharing my learnings to help other brides and families as they figure out the best way to share their love story with their family and friends.
By the way, Christmas Eve is now one of my husband’s favorite holidays - mainly because of the Cannolis!
Learning #1 - Prioritize
This is a good starting point for any function and no different, albeit, a bit more complicated for a fusion wedding. A fusion is just that – a fusion of two or more different ways of doing things. That means you have all of the same options as traditional weddings and then a zillion more!
So, gather around those that are most invested both financially and emotionally in the wedding and figure out what each person’s priorities are. Talk about what traditions are must-haves, what events you want to hold, guest list requirements, what can be left out, and certainly anything you definitely don’t want.
For example, my husband was pretty set on having as few events as possible, so we made that happen (yes, four events is relatively low when you are talking about Indian weddings!). We all wanted to have culturally traditional wedding ceremonies, so we had two different ceremonies, rather than combining them.
Knowing what everyone wants up front allows you to understand the non-negotiables so you can find venues and partners that will make your dreams a reality. There will definitely be a few curveballs along the way as everyone’s priorities can change over time, but at least this gives you a good starting point.
Learning #2 - Educate and Communicate
Each culture is different (obviously!). And although you and your fiancé may be aware of the differences and think others do as well, that is not always the case. Overcommunicating the values and traditions of each side, what guests can expect to experience, and what your family will need to do, will help everyone be more comfortable and prepared so they can enjoy the day and make it as special for you as they want to.
As an example, I knew one of the traditions for the Indian wedding involved my claustrophobic mom needing to be surrounded by all our family members and be the center of attention as she said some prayers with my husband-to-be. This is something that was meaningful to us and our family, but I knew, would be a bit uncomfortable for my mom. Sharing what it would entail and the meaning of the tradition with my mom beforehand, helped prepare her for the big day.
That being said, no matter how much we communicate or prepare, there are bound to be things that happen that we didn’t plan for or didn’t expect. So, prepare everyone to be a little uncomfortable. Some guests will experience things they never have before and that is sometimes hard. Talk to your family members and friends ahead of time and tell them that this may happen. Ask them to keep an open mind, remember the purpose of the day, have a drink, and enjoy the party!
Learning #3 - Find the Right Partners
A fusion wedding is not your average wedding. A DJ that just does Indian weddings or a caterer who is going to cook butter chicken for the first time along with American options are not necessarily good choices. Here are a few of the partners we included in our special day that helped us make the most amazing memories:
Partners in a fusion wedding are not just your traditional vendors, they are also your loved ones. For example, my mother-in-law is amazing. She spent so much time with me to help me understand the Indian wedding traditions and ceremony. She went to India to get the most beautiful outfits for the entire bridal party, found all the partners to make the Indian wedding a success, and did everything possible to make our wedding days so incredibly special. So, remember to also find the right partners in your own family to ensure a thorough integration of both cultures (plus, working with them is extra fun!).
Learning #4 - Embrace the Unexpected
Although I am a fantastic planner, there are always things that happen beyond my control. For example, one of the special touches I was most excited for at the Indian wedding reception was the cake topper. I had someone that made a replica of Dhruv and I (and our puppy Petunia) on an elephant. The details were spectacular with the outfits matching those we were wearing that day. When the cake was rolled out for us to cut, there was no cake topper and I was mad. But, I was able to use that cake topper for the Wedding Extravaganza, two days later, and create a great tie-in between the two events. Plus, it was much better than the generic gold “Mr. and Mrs. Mehra” cake topper I had previously thought to use. Sometimes the things that go wrong, actually turn into something better than you can imagine.
I hope that these learnings help you as you plan your own fusion wedding, or, at the very least, brought you some entertainment for the day! If you or anyone you know needs help planning a fusion wedding or wants to know more tips, contact MSC Events.
—Susan